I rang in 2017 again this year coming off of a week long Heart of Recovery retreat at Karme Choling, a Shambhala Buddhist center in Vermont. I’m feeling revitalized and deeply connected. In the new year, my intention is to stay. This concept isn’t new, but I have a refreshed sense of what it means. As a person in recovery, I work with my habitual mind and patterning on a daily basis. I’m quite familiar with ways to escape the present moment, attempt to force a change to how I’m feeling, to cover something up, and to not give feelings enough space. These are all ways in which I do not stay.
Instead, when we do stay, we’re being brave enough to sit with what comes up: fear, anger, jealousy, joy, sadness, longing, etc. We don’t turn away from it. Staying means being willing to make friends with all of me and walking straight into the fire. In doing so, I’ll continue to cultivate the space between my thoughts (who don’t make up “me”) and the observer, or my highest self.
Staying is going to mean a daily sitting meditation practice. It’s going to mean a slowing down of everything I do. In terms of writing, I want to spend more time with my pieces. I want to treat them like long-lost lovers, savoring every second of creation, and making sure they have enough space to breath and thrive. I’m not going to be publishing once a week anymore. This sort of deadline was good to get me started, but I’d like to loosen the grip and dig deeper with my pieces. I'll cultivate quality over quantity. When a piece is pushing up against a nerve, I’d like to continue to stay with it to listen to what it has to say.
I promise there are beautiful writings and stories coming this year, they’re just going to come much slower, from a deeper place.
Have a beautiful 2017, my loves, and thanks for everyone’s support of my writing and launch of the blog in 2016. It’s meant the world. <3